The Big Picture Syndrome
by Sules
Summary: Examination of Jules' inner life based at one scene from "Slow Burn". Wanna know which one? Check this out inside my story. *Oneshot*


**A/N** :_ It's just came once to my mind and I had to write it down for you guys. **KateEals**__ helped me to get rid of mistakes so obvious for foreigners._ _Thanks to her you can figure out what my story is about without wondering how messed up the syntax is :) Thanks Eals for your help :)_

_Ok people just remind to yourselves the picnic scene from "Slow burn" and enjoy my story._

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Flashpoint ._

**Spoilers: **_mostly "Slow burn" , but also contains flashbacks from all four series of Flashpoint__  
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><p><strong><em>The Big Picture Syndrome<em>**

Jules smirks under her breath and sniffs deeply .This smell causes shivers to run through her body. It makes the blood flow faster in her veins, and she feels this strange pressure in the stomach. It is nice though. She leans her head down and sucks the air through her nose again,slowly and enjoyably. She smiles lightly, experiencing this smell. The smell of a baby. Baby skin smells so wonderful. It's a perfect blend of olives, milk, powders and skin itself. Izzy's thin hair smells like a mixture of the light breeze from the lake and peach Johnson & Johnson shampoo for kids.

All her friends in Medicine Hat have already had children. In Toronto, most of the women her age she knows already have offspring. Sophie, Shelly. Soon, Donna the newlywed will probably be pregnant. Oh, there are childless Winnie and Natalie. But they are much younger than she is. Before, she didn't bother about it, but since she and Sam renewed their relationship, the maternal instinct in her sharpened. Day by day, she feels her biological clock ticking inside her.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…._

None of her previous boyfriends fit into her big picture. She had always made a retreat from her relationships when guys started to talk about going to the next step. Yeah, next step. She was flattered that they perceived her as a mature woman,but she always knew that the team goes first. One of her previous partners proposed sharing a flat , next one, what is even worse, gushed at the vision of how their children would look sweet and adorable; Jules immediately ended the chapter of her life linked with that guy. Well, poor Scott hadn't even gotten a chance to think about the next step, because she had dismissed him after three dates. Yeah, he was trying hard to impress her. He was amazing in bed, but dull at talking though. Maybe she would have given him a chance to spin off, but Sam stormed into her life and stole all her thoughts with the brush of his fingertips across her bruised skin.

Jules turns over her shoulder and glanced at Sam. He stares affectionately at her holding Ed's child. She notices tenderness in his eyes at the view of her holding a baby. His eyes are a melting pot of emotions. Tenderness, desire, love, hope, and even regret . Maybe it is disappointment that Izzy isn't their baby. Or maybe her profiling skills are going weak.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…._

She turns her head back and lifts it up. Officially, she doesn't want to admit it but, she wants a baby so badly. When she saw a photo of the Sophie's ultrasound in Ed's locker,she felt a slight twinge of jealousy. She remembers that moment very clearly. At that second, for the very first time, she really mourned that she hadn't gotten her own family yet. That no one was waiting for her at home. That she doesn't hear the patter of little feet at night. Feet that lead a frightened child to his parents' bed,because of some creepy nightmares. She wouldn't even mind cleaning spilled milk from floor or counter. Or gathering toys scattered around the floor. Or wiping colored-by-pencils freshly primed drywall at night. Or changing diapers thousands of times per day. She wouldn't mind having sleepless nights. She just wants to imagine a heartbeat on anultrasound ,feel the moves of that same heart under her own.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…_

Oh, yes. She is more than ready to become a mom . The first time it flashed through her mind was when she took Izzy in her hands at the HQ and she glanced at Sam. Jules remembers extremely well how he looked at her then. In his eyes she could see that hisemotions were at different levels this time than any other time before. She noticed then that he hadn't seen her only as anobject of desire and a partner to whom he could talk. He glimpsed at her in the same way that her Dad looked at her Mom before she died. With such admiration that is reserved for women who are loving mothers. Just like her Mom had been.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock….._

Once before, she had seen that in another man's eyes. Steve's , she'd never felt this incredible bond with Steve, this invisible strand by which she has always been connected to Sam. Dates with Steve only helped her get out from the fog of feelings she was in at that time. She knew that big hearted Steve saw them together. He saw them both in his big picture as two old people holding each other by the hand and sitting on a bench. He saw her next to his bed as death took his last breath away. The problem was that she didn't see Steve in the same way. She didn't see him standing next to her. He wasn't the one that she was considering in her big picture. And he knew.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…_

The only person that could stand next to her until the end of her days is the man that she had dumped before. The person that she pushed away from her to come back to Team put her job in first place, leaving him behind. Only she knows how many tears she cried a river trying to forget about him. She never dreamt that they could be together again. But now this blonde guy with a cocky smile is waking up next to her again. She even wakes up earlier to watch how he breaths, to check if he is really lying next to her. Their feelings have matured and have become stronger and more reliable. They depend on each other, they consume each other, they love each other. Till their last breath, till their last blink of an eye, till their last heartbeat.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…._

So yes, she is ready to love a little one who will be part her and part Sam. Yes, she is as ready as she is ever going to be. She is ready to love this sweet thing that someday will grow inside is ready to put aside her work for a while. She is ready to vomit every morning and sleep all day long. She is ready to carry a big ball in front of her. So yes, she is ready to be pregnant with Sam's baby. She wants to be pregnant with his baby. And yes, her big picture is almost painted, almost complete, almost done.

_tick tock tick tock tick tock…_

Jules sniffs deeply again and smells the sweet scent of the baby's skin, smiling at the vision of her nearly painted big picture.

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><p><em>Thanks for your priceless<strong> reviews . <strong>_

_They keep my imagnation to work for other oneshots :)  
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